Tips to Deal With a Guilty Conscience

“Conscience is tormenting,” we say when we are worried about a wrong action, a carelessly spoken word, or an unpleasant event in the past. But why do some people experience these feelings, while others aren’t tormented by conscience? Where does this feeling come from and what to do so that the conscience does not gnaw.

What Is Remorse of Conscience

Different sciences – psychology, sociology, philosophy – are engaged in the study of conscience. Each of them gives its definition of this concept. So in psychology, conscience is understood as a person’s ability to evaluate his behavior from the point of view of morality and morality. This assessment is based on objective and subjective values.

Conscience is a social construct. It arises in the process of development and socialization. Lack of conscience is the norm for young children. In adults, it’s usually connected with violation of mental processes or difficulties with upbringing. If a person cannot or is not able to evaluate his or her actions, he or she will not have torments of conscience.

Remorse of conscience is the moral torment that we experience when we understand that we have done wrong. If it’s impossible to correct this deed, or if a past event has an impact on the present, these feelings can turn into real anguish.

The Cause of Remorse

Usually, a feeling of conscience begins to form around the age of 5-7 years. The key period of its development falls on adolescence, because at this time, a person forms its moral compass and learns to assess themselves and their behavior. But everyone’s moral guidelines are different, so scruples of conscience arise in different people for different reasons.

They can be conditionally divided into two big groups:

• These reasons lie in the internal plane. A man assesses himself and his actions in terms of his own moral and ethical guidelines. And if they don’t coincide, he feels remorse.
• This is an assessment of the deed in accordance with external laws and norms. At the same time, these guidelines can be official (for example, laws, strategies for betting at a sportsbook, rules of visiting certain places), and unofficial (for example, etiquette).

Often, when a person is tormented by conscience, he/she may experience fear – fear of not meeting his/her own or others’ expectations, fear of being rejected, loss of loved ones, status or position in society.

What a Guilty Conscience Is for

Many people wonder if a guilty conscience is a good thing or a bad thing. A man without a conscience is scary. In fact, he is a psychopath who is unaffected by the harm he has done. He is cruel and ruthless, can easily hit and even kill a person and feel nothing at all. Thus, conscience serves as a deterrent and serves the following purposes:

• It serves as a moral guide for a person, it helps to distinguish right from wrong and right from wrong.
• It helps to find weaknesses, to grow and develop – if we have acted out of conscience, we want to correct it.
• It’s a limiting factor – we have to filter internally and act on our conscience before we say or do anything.
• It helps us to correct the situation – if we have done wrong, we try to make amends and make up for the damage we have done.

Remorse is one of the manifestations of self-criticism and self-reflection. Without it, people would have no moral restraints and act as they wish without regard to the thoughts and feelings of others. Conscience helps us to hold ourselves in check and not to forget that we live in society.

How a Sense of Conscience Is Formed

A child is born without conscience. Sense of conscience begins to form in early childhood and continues to develop constantly throughout life. The peak of development is in adolescence, when a person is searching for himself, his key values and attitudes in life.

In order to feel remorse, one must:

• Develop moral values and attitudes in life.
• Be able to make moral judgments.
• Understand and be aware of one’s own actions and their consequences.
• Be responsible for their actions.
• Be able to reasonably assess themselves and their actions.

Morality develops in the process of human socialization. Its formation is influenced by the environment in which a child lives, by the attitudes of his parents, and even by the books he reads and the movies he watches. The global society – the state, the Internet environment, and so on – also has an influence.

Moral guidelines can change over the course of life. In some cases (serious life shocks, traumas, etc.) there is a suppression of the sense of conscience. It’s as if a person loses conscience, and conscientious deeds cease to be such. His conscience is silent.

Remorse should be distinguished from shame. Shame is counterproductive and forces a person to keep his or her deed a secret and to make sure that no one knows about it.

Rowan Hewitt

“Beer enthusiast. Subtly charming alcohol junkie. Wannabe internet buff. Typical pop culture lover.”