Why is it so difficult for me to change?

Change to improve health, establish new habits, or grow professionally. Have you noticed how difficult it is for us to perform these operations? There are factors that prevent us from doing this and you want to know about them in order to disable them. We explain it to you!

Behavior change is a psychological engineering process that requires the intervention of a very special cognitive and emotional component: the mind.. Few processes are as complex as they are frustrating. Have you tried to make a habit of going to the gym, but you give up after a few days? Do you want to improve your personality and find it almost impossible? All of this leads you to wonder why change costs so much.

It is not easy to make effective behavioral change in the long term. It’s not, in the first place, because the brain has a hard time accepting changes. He will always prefer homeostasis, that is, everything remains in equilibrium and does not change. but, Our progress as human beings, including our well-being, requires internalizing new habits.

Changing to be our best version, achieving goals, and feeling better is something we should all promote. To achieve this, it will be useful for us to know those psychological enemies that make it impossible to integrate different behaviors and attitudes. Because this mechanism requires more than courage: it requires new mental tools from us.

Why is it so difficult for me to change?

If there is something we encourage from psychology, it is change in behavior in favor of improvements in people. We provide mechanisms that enable them themselves to take a step towards well-being and health goals. However, the guide tells us that Our brain is dominated by unconscious mechanisms that make it difficult to incorporate new habits.

a University of Vermont Researchfor example, highlights an important point. Behavior change is a very complex and unstable process, that is, there are setbacks, steps back and withdrawal.. The inability to sustainably maintain these new behaviors or attitudes can have a negative impact on physical and mental health. So it is a related issue.

One way to deal with this resistance is by knowing it. Because we insist, more often than not, the difficulty is not a lack of willpower or discipline. There are basic psychological processes that we have been dragging around for years that we must discover in order to disrupt them. We analyze it below.

Your limiting beliefs

Limiting beliefs are negative opinions or perceptions about ourselves and those circumstances.. It is necessary to know that a significant part of them originate in childhood and education. Too often, we incorporate completely invalid messages from the outside that belittle our worth, our virtues, and our strength.

Believing that we are not capable of something, that we are fallible or not fully qualified are major obstacles to the process of change.

An excess of negative emotions

Imagine that your relationship is bad and you are deeply unhappy. You know you have to make the move and leave that bond, but doing so scares you. If you’re wondering why it’s so hard to change and move on, feelings with a negative value are an indisputable factor.. There is anguish, anxiety, guilt, sadness, and even shame.

This accumulation of sensations fills your mind with adverse and even fatal thoughts. You fear failure or regret. Added to this is the fear of the unknown. What will happen after the change?

Impostor syndrome and low self-esteem

Taking a step forward, more than efforts, requires commitment and complete self-confidence. If the latter fails, everything collapses. In this way, it is very common, for example, for people with impostor syndrome (those who think they are not smart and almost never amount to anything) that it is difficult to form new habits.

When one does not conform to one’s worth and also shows low self-esteem, it is difficult to promote long-term change.

It is difficult to change due to cognitive dissonance and self-deception

Knowing that a sedentary lifestyle affects health, but tells us that it is nothing more than false myths. Understanding that we should look for a better job, but saying, in return, that it is better to have something safe, even if it is risky. Cognitive contradictions are mechanisms that allow us to justify our own contradictions in order to avoid psychological suffering.

In view of this, If you’re wondering why change costs so much, it’s a good idea to review some of your self-delusions. You may be fully aware that you need to take new steps in your life, but it scares you. And to avoid that pain, you resort to the very artificial thinking that justifies that you are still in your comfort zone.

You underestimate the process

Change does not happen overnight. Promoting it requires a delicate craft that requires emotional, behavioral and cognitive elements. Omission of these components will result in our failure in that attempt. Also, with every step back, self-image and self-esteem crumble.

Successful change is the result of several interrelated steps that require commitment, clarity of purpose, and a healthy dose of enthusiasm. However, L.N Sometimes, due to a lack of awareness and tools to understand these processes, we get them wrong.

strategies for effective change

Science has always been interested in change. a Study from the University of Helsinki, Ireland, for example, highlights something striking. Social, emotional, and biological factors are also incorporated into the potential for human change.

To achieve this, you must work from the motivational, behavioral and educational aspects, to review the many beliefs that are embedded in your psychological world. It’s time to think about those tools that will facilitate this process.

1. To awaken your motivation, remember the reasons for the change

Motivation isn’t always there when we need it. There are days when the forces fail and the mind does not respond. If you need to initiate a change, you must clarify your purposes and why you need to take this step.. This will be your daily fuel.

2. Action Plan: Plan – Evaluate – Correct

When starting a new habit or creating a shift, it is essential to define an action plan. It is not good to improvise, the ideal is to design the steps to follow and evaluate them later. Is it useful to us? Should we adjust something? Every plan must be flexible to adapt to every challenge and circumstance.

3. Managing stress

It is essential to incorporate stress management resources into today’s day. After all, all change puts us in new scenarios that make us reel or accumulate feelings of negative valence. Feel free to practice some sports, relaxation techniques, or meditation. With them you will make way for a more relaxed mind and a body with less cortisol.

4. Boost your self-efficacy: You are skilled and qualified

Self-efficacy is the confidence we have in our abilities to achieve what we want. This is the most decisive psychological chord when integrating change into life. It is known that we have the resources to make it happen, that we are skilled and have the skills to succeed.

5. Yes to Small Daily Progress: Less is always more

in this book Atomic habitsWritten by James Clear, he tells us about the power of small, everyday accomplishments. Sometimes big changes require small daily breakthroughs.Stay steady and focus on our goal. Therefore, remember that it is not a good idea to rush or make too many variations at the same time. Better little by little.

6. Discipline and work

Oftentimes we look at motivation when initiating change. But this emotional component does not always appear when we need it most. This is where the most crucial factor comes into play: discipline. that’s what it is, We must be disciplined and understand that creating new habits takes commitment, work, and repetition.

7. Resist frustration

Who hasn’t been frustrated when they see how difficult it is to initiate change? Nothing is quite as common as backing off, failing, falling apart for a few days, and then moving on again. There is no linear change, there are always ups and downs and we must know how to resist and accept them.

Commitment to change

If you’ve ever wondered why change costs, you should know that this is a common experience. you’re not the only one. It is worth reminding yourself that you have extraordinary potential to make it happen. you can do that. Commit yourself to these steps, make them your own and you will overcome that peak you crave for your well-being and self-fulfillment.

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